Dare to be different - love yourself

In today’s world, we’re born into an inescapable social system where judging the human body is the norm. We are a society obsessed with how our bodies look. Social media has created a platform for us to judge each other and pass comment, and actively encourages us to broadcast ourselves and measure our self worth in terms of how many likes we get on Facebook in response to our latest profile picture, or how many followers we have on Instagram. It takes a lot of courage and strength to dare to be different, and to refrain from negative self judgement, or the judgement of others. 

From the moment that we come into being, we observe and absorb the stimuli surrounding us on both a conscious and subliminal level. On one hand, this is a wonderful thing; the capacity to learn and absorb so much through our senses is part of what makes us the amazing creatures that we are. But, if what we are taking in is riddled with negative imagery and messages that encourage unrealistic expectations of ourselves, it can lead to negative outcomes.

Nowhere is this more apparent, in my view, than in our confused ideals around our bodies.

We are encouraged to look at our bodies as manifestations of our social worth in the world. The value of the body is often reduced to the external. The prevalent questions we ask ourselves are not around the issue of how well our bodies function and move, or how we can look after them, but how well they match up to the images that you see in the popular media.

“If only I had a body like that”, we say, looking wistfully at the imagery of so – called perfection that we see on the cover of the latest magazines, or on our Facebook feed, “I would love my body. My life would be wonderful.”

Except, it wouldn’t be. You wouldn’t feel better about yourself. As soon as another fabricated “ideal” of the perfect body is created by the media, you will feel completely inadequate again. And, here’s news for you – that “perfect” model you were looking at so wistfully? They will be feeling inadequate too, because their spell in the artificial warmth of the media sun has ended, and their body is no longer beautiful enough. It’s tragic. The whole system is designed to make sure that we all feel rubbish about our bodies, so that we’ll keep aspiring to something else. We’re rarely encouraged to truly step back, develop a relationship with our bodies, and to love them. There are fringe movements, claiming that they are all about empowerment, but even these can be purely based on the aesthetic. Proponents of a well intentioned “Love Your Body” movement can still be advertising their 6 pack abs and defined biceps in carefully angled photos posted on Instagram, potentially making others feel inadequate in comparison. It’s a difficult system to escape.

Our bodies ARE beautiful, yes, and exercise can help us to maximise our natural, aesthetic gifts, but far more importantly, our bodies are incredible vessels which allow us to do wondrous things. Things that we have come to take for granted. They allow us to experience the wonders that nature offers us. They allow us to play. To dance. To LIVE. How often are we encouraged to stop and really thank our bodies for keeping us alive? For working tirelessly, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for decades to keep our hearts beating? For allowing us to experience life through our senses? In contrast, how often are we encouraged to shame ourselves, to subject our bodies to a barrage of experiments testing cosmetic products, fad diets, and punishing exercise regimes just so that we will conform to some arbitrary ideal of human beauty? Try watching an advert break and really pay attention to the messages that each advert is sending you. I’m positive that you won’t see a single one that encourages you to simply appreciate yourself. Why would you? That’s not a product. It doesn’t make money. If you were happy with your skin, your face, your hair, your body, your life, you wouldn’t need to buy anything to make you feel better about it. The first step to selling is to make you feel like you don’t match up to an ideal so that you'll consider buying whatever is being sold to get you closer. It’s cruel.

When the barrage of media stimulation that surrounds us is so relentless, it is challenging to take a step back and consider what our bodies actually are. We are taught from a worryingly young age that the value of the body in society is based more on how the body looks, than what it does.

The body allows us to experience life through our senses. Everything we feel, we feel through our bodies. When we embrace that, appreciating it for that rather than simply focusing on how it looks, and develop our relationship with our physicality in a loving, nurturing way, we begin to radiate beauty. True beauty, that shines from the inside out. Beauty that will stand the test of time, and the ever changing fads of fashion, because it’s not about what anyone else has ordained as beautiful. It’s your true beauty, and no one else’s.

It’s hard work, undoing old ways of looking at yourself and creating a new relationship with your body, but you will be stunned by the liberation that you experience when you are free of old habits, and learn to appreciate your body for the wondrous miracle that it is.

Your worth is not defined by what apps, adverts, or mob movements spread via social media decide. Your worth is decided by YOU. Next time you stand in front of the mirror and speak to yourself negatively, remind yourself of how hard your body is working for you, and dare to appreciate yourself. Dare to love yourself enough to make a change, to develop your relationship with your body through balanced eating and nurturing exercise, and discover your beauty. Yours. No one else’s. 

Dare to be different.