guidance

Apr

2023

New Year, New… Blue?

It’s the dawn of a new year. The internet is flooded with articles about how to make this year your best yet - how to achieve all of those goals that you’ve had in the back of your mind for years, and how to finally break free of negative habits and feel complete in yourself.

Now, I don’t know how you feel at this time of year, but I know that for me, all of this pressure to suddenly self – actualize can paralyse me into doing absolutely nothing. Then, I feel awful about it.

I struggle in January. The days are gloomy, it’s cold, and all I want to do is curl up with a good book and drink hot chocolate. I’m a personal trainer, yes, but I’m also human. Personal trainers go through cycles of motivation too! And I know how challenging these cycles can be to handle.

I used to beat myself up terribly during winter, because I struggled to get myself going with ANYTHING, let alone kickstart an ambitious training regime, or the pursuit of a lifelong dream. As I grow older and hopefully wiser, I’ve realised that just because the world is telling me that it’s the right time to set goals and achieve them, it may not be the case. You are an individual, and what works for you will be unique to you and where you are in your life.

It’s important to accept where you are at all times. Sometimes you are ready to take on the world, to set goals, and to achieve them. Sometimes, you need to rest and take a break. Taking a break doesn't have to mean complete inaction, though. There are actions that you can take if you are finding that your energy is at a low ebb, in preparation for when you are ready to take things further. Here are a few gentle ideas for gradually preparing yourself for more energised times.

Scribble out what you want to achieve

This is a simple way of kicking off a goal setting process, but without putting any pressure on it. You can sit down with a pen and paper, get comfortable, put on some relaxing music, and simply scribble out what it is that you want to do in the future. There’s no right or wrong way of doing this – you just let yourself be truthful, and scribble out absolutely everything that comes to mind. No one will ever see this, it’s a process purely for you, so let yourself be completely honest about what you want. It can be a really cleansing experience, allowing yourself to really consider what you want to be, or do. Enjoy the process and remember, there’s no pressure on it!

Scribble out what you feel frustrated with

This is the opposite to the above in some ways. The method is the same, sit down with a pen and paper, make sure you’re alone and have some headspace, and scribble out whatever comes to mind, but this time focus on what is really frustrating you. This could be things that you feel get in the way of you achieving what you want (this could be lack of time, too many other priorities, a specific person or responsibility), or frustrations that you may have with yourself (do you feel that you just can’t get going, that you have too far to go, that you don’t know what to do?). Just anything at all that makes you feel frustrated, because once it’s on the page, it’s out of you, and you’ll feel better for it.

Stretch, stretch, stretch!

So many people neglect stretching, because it can feel like “light” work that isn’t going to have any major effect. The fact is, stretching is ESSENTIAL if you want to have a well trained, functional body. Flexibility allows you to perform far more effectively when you are ready to do more intensive training, so use the downtime to work on gentle stretching work to get those limbs ready for a more high energy period of training. I personally advocate a mindful approach to training, where you focus in on your body and breath with no distractions, but, if it gets you moving, do some stretching in front of the TV! You will feel brilliant for it, and you won’t get bored!

Learn to Rest

This is a tough one, sometimes. It’s a skill to be able to rest in a way that is recuperative. I still struggle with this, because even when I’m on “holiday”, I’m often still beating myself up about what I should be doing, and making plans for how to do better once my holiday has finished. Perhaps you spend evenings sitting watching Netflix, enjoying chocolate biscuits and feeling guilty – or you spend time feeling anxious about not getting enough done, or an incomplete to-do list that you are pressuring yourself to complete. None of those things are resting. Your mind and body are in a state of turmoil and you will gradually wear yourself down and then feel terrible that you don’t have a great deal of energy to do the things that you want to do so much!

Spend some time learning to really rest. It’s easier said than done, I know, but learn to be kind to yourself, and develop this essential skill. If you’re relaxing with a TV programme, really go with it. If you’re logged off work and your brain needs to decompress, let it happen! If you combine rest with the brainstorming above, you’ll be doing plenty to help yourself to prepare for a more active process of setting and achieving your fitness goals when you’re ready.

Trust yourself

Finally, I can testify, from personal experience, that slow and steady is the way to achieve lifelong, sustainable change. I’ve been letting myself grow and develop new, healthy habits for years, and now, winter isn’t a time for my health and fitness to fall by the wayside. Exercise is a way of life, and I don’t need to kickstart anything in the cold, dark of winter. It’s part of the day to day, business as usual, because I do the hard work of making change and improving at a different time of the year – a time that works well for me and my personal rhythm. You will find your way – trust yourself!

So, there you go! That’s my alternative take on how to take advantage of the dawn of a new year. Take it easy on yourself. January may be peak time for your productivity, or it may not – just listen to your own body and work with it. There’s no forcing long term change, so believe in yourself and the process of preparing the ground for the time that you are ready to take the next steps to achieving all of your health and fitness goals 🙂

May

2019

Simple tips for a healthier lifestyle (Part Two)

Welcome to part two of this post, giving you simple, easy to implement tips for moving towards a healthier lifestyle.

These are small ideas, but with each small change that you make, you are shifting your self perception, and sending yourself positive messages about who you are, and the lifestyle that you lead.

Remember, slow and steady wins the race. Have a read of these ideas, pick one or two that you feel would help you, and commit to integrating them into your lifestyle. Don't try to do too much at once. There's plenty of time to keep evolving and improving!

Here are a few more tips and ideas for a healthier, happier you.

Commit to 10 minutes of physical activity a day.

This doesn’t have to be a big deal. Don't worry about what exactly it is, or how effective it will be. For a start just decide what you will do (a walk, a jog, yoga, trampolining in the garden, playing with your toddler, anything that you can easily fit in) and get it done every day. When you're starting out and it all seems overwhelming, you can paralyse yourself into inaction. Keeping it light and simple makes it easier to get going.

Give yourself 5 minutes a day of free time.

No phone, laptop, other people. Just five minutes of quiet to relax, breathe, and let yourself travel to your happy place. It's amazing how long it can seem when you haven't done it in a long time. That 5 minutes is important for you. It's down time. No plans, obligations or noise. Just 5 minutes of space.

Reflect on the day.

Before you go to sleep, think of 3 things that you are grateful for. Then think of 3 things that you did on that day that you are proud of.

It's so easy to go through life without noticing or appreciating the small moments that we experience every day. Amazing things are happening in our lives all the time. You're doing amazing things every day. It's important to take a few minutes to notice them.

Eat slowly.

Food is one of the great pleasures in life. Rushing through a meal doesn't allow appreciation of it! Even if it seems odd, slow down and let yourself really taste your food. Make a ritual out of it. It's better for your digestion, will encourage mindful eating, and best of all, you'll enjoy your food even more!

It's the small things, the small steps and changes that really make a difference. Life is too short to rush through, letting those amazing things pass us by. Let yourself take a bit of time to enjoy the tiny details of the day to day - and keep being kind to yourself. With small changes and some patience and compassion, you’ll get to where you need to be.

May

2019

Why exercise?

Mar

2019

Feeling low. Give myself a break or fight through?

This happens to everyone. We all have days, even weeks, where our energy levels seem low, and mentally, we just aren't on top form.

The first thing to remember: don't beat yourself up about it. It's perfectly natural. Human beings have lots going on! Your physiology is complex, your emotional life is complex, YOU are complex. So don't worry too much if you're going through a patch where you feel, well, human.

Now, every winter, I go through the same cycle. The cold days and long nights draw in, and my motivation plummets. I find it difficult to get myself out of bed, and the idea of hard physical exercise is enough to make me even less likely to face the day. It's taken me a long time, but I've finally learnt. It's okay that I feel this way. The world isn't going to end if I change my routine to fit the way I'm feeling. My body is telling me that it needs a bit of a break, so that’s what I’ll give it.

That doesn't mean that I sit around all day, devouring Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough, without doing any kind of exercise. I know I’ll feel rubbish if I do that. It won’t help. What it does mean, is that I take a gentler approach. I don't force myself to do anything. I take some time to consider what it is that is really putting me off exercising that day (sometimes it's as simple as not wanting to get changed because it's cold!), and modify my approach. I don't want to get changed, so I decide to do a light,15 minute yoga stretch that doesn't require a change of clothes. More often than not, by the time the stretch is over, I'm warm and ready to go. Getting changed doesn't seem like such a barrier.

There's no need to fight yourself at any point of your fitness journey. Your body isn't an enemy. It communicates with you, and if you can listen, you'll find the right balance and learn to develop a seamless rhythm and connection with it. Your default should always be kindness and compassion towards yourself, so if you're having a particularly difficult day, or week, slow down, listen to your body, and don't be afraid to change things up. Your body always wants to move, it thrives on exercise and movement, but that doesn't always mean intense, extreme routines. Sometimes, your body will be content with a relaxing stretch and some quality downtime with you!

Mar

2019

How to overcome procrastination

Ah. Procrastination. A common enemy!

Procrastination is often the result of being unsure. Unsure of what you actually want to be doing. Unsure of what your goal is. Unsure of whether you're doing the right thing.

My first tip for overcoming procrastination is to do a bit of planning. Really consider your goals, and really get them embedded into your thoughts by writing them onto index cards, putting them onto post it notes and sticking them up around the house. Then, consider how you are going to reach those goals. Do some research into how to fulfil your specific goals (or hire a specialist, like a Personal Trainer to write you a programme!). Then, follow the plan. Don't think about it. Just follow the plan. The work that you've done in setting your goals and creating the plan has removed any need for being unsure.

Jan

2019

Why forget about how my body looks?

Now, I'm not advocating a complete lack of pride in your appearance. I'm suggesting that there is a level of appreciation that your body deserves, that it is probably not receiving. In fact, your body is probably taking continual abuse from the person it is working so hard to keep alive. You.

We have forgotten how wonderful our bodies are. How miraculous. Every second of every day, our bodies work to keep us alive. We breathe, move, live, through our bodies, but we tend to take them for granted. How often do you stand in front of the mirror and shame your body, saying that you wish it was different? That it looks horrible? That you hate it? Now, think about how often you look in the mirror and applaud your body, thank it for keeping you alive, for allowing you to experience life through your senses, for enabling you to do the things you enjoy.

For most of us, there is a major imbalance between the first and second scenario.

It's to be expected, in some ways. Many industries rely on that internal bully that we all have, telling us that we aren't good enough, because that bully is what allows the media to convince you that product a, b or c is going to make you perfect. So you'll buy it, and when you are still looking at yourself, shaming yourself, bullying your body, you'll buy something else to numb the pain for a while.

It's time for a change. It's time to love your body and be grateful for it. To nurture it, and stop bullying it. Experiment with different activities and see what FEELS good, not what someone tells you is a miracle fix for a false aspiration based on how the world tells you you SHOULD look.

Enjoy the life that your body enables you to lead. And forget about what the world is telling you you "should" be. You are you, and you ROCK!

Dec

2018

How do I fit exercise into my busy schedule?

Time. In the modern age, everyone seems to suffer from a lack of Time. And exercise is one of the first casualties of the epidemic.

It can seem very overwhelming, the idea of fitting in exercise when there is so much to do, so many plates to spin, and often, very little time and space to look after yourself. But here's the thing. Looking after your body is literally a matter of life or death. Your body keeps you alive. If you aren't looking after your body, you are reducing its ability to look after you. So, as a society, it might be a good idea for us to bump looking after our bodies up the priority list.

There's a conception that exercise has to be a big deal. That it has to be a regimented thing that you buy special clothes for, go to special places for, or have special equipment for. That's not the case. Exercise is just moving. So you could count walking around the park as exercise. Playing more actively with the kids is exercise. Dancing in your living room is exercise. 10 minutes of moving in a way that gets your heart rate up is exercise. We all have time for that. Try it. Start with 10 minutes a day of something that will get your heart rate up - dance, run around with the kids, take a brisk walk around the block. There's no right or wrong. Just move.

Once that's done, hurrah! You've done a 10 minute workout!

Do that every day, and gradually see if you can build up to 2 active 10 minute sessions a day, then 3. Notice how relaxed you feel after a bit of physical activity. Once you remove the pressure around having to do a long, regimented routine, you'll be able to find ways to incorporate exercise into your life. It will become part of your day, rather than an imposition. Eventually, it will be a habit, you will feel much more connected and confident in your body, and you’ll be getting fitter every day.

Nov

2018

I’m too embarrassed to exercise

Getting started is difficult for many reasons. Feeling embarrassed about actually moving is a very common one, so if you're concerned about this, you're not alone.

It's sad that the world can make you feel embarrassed about doing something as natural as exercising. Exercising is just moving your body, and our bodies are designed to move. So the first thing to remember, is that you are no different to anyone else in this regard. However self conscious you feel about your body, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, and it will enjoy movement as much as anyone else's body will.

Doing something new is always intimidating. It's a challenge. And the best way to deal with something being intimidating is to take it slowly, and ease towards your goals gently, with compassion. Be kind to yourself. It's so easy to defeat yourself before you've even started by speaking to yourself negatively, for getting angry with yourself for decisions you have made in the past, but the world is a tough place as it is, and you deserve love. Self love is a good place to start.

The great thing about exercise is that you can do it anywhere. You can go to the gym, the park, or stay at home, and all of these things are effective. The key is to gently experiment with options to see what works for you. Perhaps working out at home is a good starting point, because the thought of the gym is so intimidating that it stops you from doing anything at all. On the other hand, perhaps you won't find the motivation to exercise if you are in your home environment because it will seem so much easier to sit in front of Netflix all evening rather than exercise. You may well benefit from working with a personal trainer who can work with you in the scenario that you find most comfortable, as it will become a timetabled activity which has been designed with your challenges in mind. The key thing is to gently try different methods and see what suits you. There's no rush, take your time, and remember, everyone feels self conscious! You're no different for feeling this way, and just reading this article is a big step in the right direction.

Be kind to yourself. You'll get to where you want to be, and you will unlock that self confidence that you want. It'll just take some self love, patience, and the right guidance.

Now, how about taking a 10 minute walk around the block? Or around the park? Or just walking up and down the stairs a couple of times? See how you go!

Oct

2018

How do I stick to it?

This is a mental game. Sticking to a new habit is purely to do with the mind, and you are in control. That's the thing to remember.

You've got this.

That said, it doesn't always feel that way. So it's always helpful to have someone who you can count on to keep checking in with you and encouraging you to stick to your resolve when the going gets tough. It can be anyone; a friend, member of the family, or a trainer. You've got it covered, you really do, but having someone who cares about your achieving your goals as much as you do, who you can depend on to have your back when any doubt kicks in, is invaluable.

Remember, this is a long term change, so don't pressure yourself into being perfect 100% of the time. If you miss a workout, or have that bag of crisps you promised yourself you wouldn't eat, draw a line under it. Don't let it become a slippery slope to self sabotage. Change is a bumpy road, and life is chaotic, so allow yourself to roll with the punches and don't get stuck in negative, self critical patterns just because you're human.

Think long term. Think sustainable progress. Think accountability. Everyone misses a workout every so often, or has an extra slice of cake they didn't intend to have. The difference between people who are fit and healthy vs those who are not, is how they handle those blips.

Believe in yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Call on your accountability partner when you feel your resolve weakening. And remember, you're improving, every day. Just keep going!

Sep

2018

How do I control my urge to eat unhealthily?

First of all, remember that all kinds of unhealthy foods are being marketed to us relentlessly, so tip number one: don't beat yourself up about it.

Somewhere along the line, food went from being something that physically sustains us, to being something that can be used to deal with other difficult emotions. When the urge to overeat takes hold, the first thing to do is to stop, take a deep breath, and consider why you really want to eat. Are you truly hungry? Bored? Finding it tough that day? Habitually eating a chocolate bar every night and not enjoying it anymore, feeling terribly guilty afterwards?

If you stop and decide that you really are hungry and your body needs some fuel to get energised, go ahead and eat something that is healthy and will give you that boost without the guilt. If, however, you still want to reach for that chocolate bar, or biscuit, or bag of crisps, it's a clear signal that you're using that food to deal with something else. Be honest with yourself. That's the first step to dealing with the habit of self-comforting through food.

Write down your feelings. Just grab your phone or a notebook and jot down the time, what you want to eat, and how you're feeling. Write down your nutritional goals again. Every time that urge hits, stop and do the same thing. See whether there is a pattern. Is the urge still as strong after you've done that? Do you feel a stronger resolve? Are you finding it difficult to write down how you’re feeling? Give it a go. The simple act of stopping the habit in it's tracks may well work wonders.

guidance

New Year, New… Blue?

Scribble out what you want to achieve

Scribble out what you feel frustrated with

Stretch, stretch, stretch!

Learn to Rest

Trust yourself

Simple tips for a healthier lifestyle (Part Two)

Simple tips for a healthier lifestyle (Part Two)

Commit to 10 minutes of physical activity a day.

Give yourself 5 minutes a day of free time.

Reflect on the day.

Eat slowly.

Why exercise?

Why exercise?

"When you are sedentary, you feel lethargic, unmotivated, and mentally drained. This isn't coincidence. This is biology."

Feeling low. Give myself a break or fight through?

Feeling low. Give myself a break or fight through?

How to overcome procrastination

How to overcome procrastination

"Procrastination is often the result of being unsure. Unsure of what you actually want to be doing. Unsure of what your goal is."

Why forget about how my body looks?

Why forget about how my body looks?

Many industries rely on that internal bully that we all have, telling us that we aren't good enough, because that bully is what allows the media to convince you that product a, b or c is going to make you perfect.

How do I fit exercise into my busy schedule?

How do I fit exercise into my busy schedule?

I’m too embarrassed to exercise

I'm too embarrassed to exercise

"..the best way to deal with something being intimidating is to take it slowly, being kind to yourself, and easing yourself towards your goals gently, and with compassion. Be kind to yourself."

How do I stick to it?

How do I stick to it?

"..it's always helpful to have someone who you can count on to keep checking in with you and encouraging you to stick to your resolve when the going gets tough. It can be anyone; a friend, member of the family, or a trainer."

How do I control my urge to eat unhealthily?

How do I control my urge to eat unhealthily?

"Somewhere along the line, food went from being something that physically sustains us, to being something that can be used to deal with other difficult emotions."

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